Pause and Overcome

I attend a weekly meeting of entrepreneurs at a local restaurant. It’s a small group of around 10 regulars. We enjoy a nice dinner and discuss leadership topics of interest to folks who run their own businesses. It is a great time of fellowship, inspiration, and support.

One of the recent topics was dealing with conflict. Here is some good advice for anyone who deals with anyone else (that means everyone). Sooner or later you will get crossways with another person. A compelling method that deflects aggression is simply to pause for 5–10 seconds without responding.

It can be difficult not to open your mouth and offer a terse response, but if you train yourself to pause for a few seconds, the other person will either settle down or escalate the situation. Either way, you will have a more clear idea of what to do next. Wisdom often takes a while to show up in these situations so if you stay quiet, you might just respond differently than if you give a snap reply.

For a turner, pausing when something goes wrong at the lathe can save a lot of headaches. Your first reaction to a catch, or a crack, or a failure, is probably not the best course. Turn off the lathe and pause for a bit to consider your options. Knee–jerk reactions are usually the reactions of a jerk. You are smarter than that.

Whenever I consider purchasing some new equipment, jig, fixture, or widget that has caught my eye, I finally learned to sleep on it at least overnight. Depending on the amount of the purchase, I often wait a week or more. If I am still interested the next day or next week, it may be time to get serious and make the purchase when appropriate. It isn’t that I’m cheap, but my shop is filled with stuff still in the box and never used. I didn’t learn this lesson until I started running out of places to put stuff. Remember that wherever you go, there you are.

Here is my inspiration for this message:

(Eccl 7:9 [MSG])

Don't be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.

(Isa 40:31 [NASB])

Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up [with] wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

(Jas 1:19–20 [NIV2])

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.